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How to Deal with Disappointment

Rujuta Borkar
This story takes you through the process of dealing with disappointment. If there ever has been a time when you have been disappointed, a read through this will do you plenty good.

Important Tip

Remember never to act on your disappointment by doling out your frustrations and anger onto people close to you, just because they make for 'easy targets'.
All it takes is one disappointing news to get you into a funk that somehow threatens to take over your whole life. One disappointing news and out come crashing, from the recesses of the mind, all the bad things that have ever happened to you. And then? And then they demand attention and they demand that you give them their due.
So, there you are, feeling disappointed with the bad news at hand and suddenly it has somehow managed to translate into you feeling disappointed in yourself, feeling disappointed at work, feeling disappointed in marriage ...
you get the drift. And while this is true, it is also true that the human mind is quite resilient. So the hardships and difficult situations that one is placed in, it somehow finds a way to overcome the same and shine through. In fact, the way that we have been wired, it is simply not possible to be sad and disappointed for long.
Sometimes though, we do need a nudge, a gentle reminder to help us deal with our disappointment, and that is exactly what this MissionSelf article will do for you.

Dealing with Disappointment

Dealing with any kind of disappointment, may it be at work, at home, in relationships, or with friends, somehow follows the same route in essence. Of course, the steps taken to deal with it will change according to the situation that one is placed in, but by and large, they are the same. Read ahead the steps taken to overcome feelings of depression.


Go into the coat closet, watch a sad film, lock yourself in the bathroom, stand under the shower―do whatever it takes, but cry. Crying is viewed as a sign of weakness, especially where men are concerned, when in reality, it is a coping mechanism that allows a catharsis of sorts, thereby clearing out all the stress and tension and making you feel lighter.
So if there are tears threatening to fall, don't stop them, let them flow. Only when you have allowed your mind to get rid of the toxins, will you be able to move on and take the necessary steps required to heal.


Acknowledge whatever it was that happened. Seriously. Many people try to run from these feelings because it brings them great pain, but, that is the only way of healing―to acknowledge that something disappointing happened.
But why, why is it absolutely necessary to deal with these feelings? Because, unless that is done, you will end up repressing your thoughts, you will not be dealing with them.
These repressed thoughts will then make their way back sometime in the future with the slightest provocation or trigger and their intensity will be much more heightened than what the situation demands.


Then again, there are some people who take the blow pretty hard. They are so caught up in their sadness that they refuse to surface. Human beings are prone to self pitying and the 'woe is me' phase.
But if the phase does not seem to pass and allows the bad feelings to tamper with your daily routine, thus affecting your productivity and peace of mind, it's time to wake up and smell the coffee. You need to sternly tell yourself 'enough is enough' and try to move on.


The feelings of disappointment are bound to come knocking from time-to-time, and a little cheer will, no doubt, be sought. For times like these, what do you do? So, so many things that you could take up, really.
Watch funny videos―a guaranteed laugh riot to follow, spend time with your pet, spend time with people who make you happy, do some adventure sports, drink tea, go on nature trails, read books, read some uplifting quotes ... find what makes you click and go ahead and do lots of that.
That is what will replace those feelings of disappointment with the feelings of joyous abandon. And if none of these help, just force yourself to smile, force yourself to laugh―it has been proven that smiling sends signals to the brain telling it that it is happy, and your mood, slowly but surely alters for the better.
And you know what else? Make a list of all those things that you're grateful for, that will help you understand the abundance of things in your life and make you humble, shifting the focus from the disappointing news.


And then comes in the task of putting things in perspective. Think about the disappointing incident and then put it in perspective with your life―whatever happened, is it going to have an indelible effect on your life in the long run? Will what has happened now, matter in a few years?
If the answers ring back a no, then you'll know that things are going to tide over. And here's something to think about, even if the answer rings in a bold 'yes', it is usually not the case.
In the throes of that negative emotion, it is not always possible to think straight, so what you may think is something that will stay with you forever, will, in fact, not―the intensity will lessen, the anger will subside.
So once you realize that this is not going to have a lasting effect on your life, it will become easier to deal with the emotion. So also, it will open up your thinking to understand that since what you're feeling disappointed by today is not going to have an effect later, should you allow it to spoil your present?


What next? What is really going to help you move on and not dwell on the disappointment that has affected you in varying degrees, is to draw a plan. And what do we mean by that? Literally sit down and make a list of all the things you've learned from this incident.
The lessons that were taken, the things that were proven, the things that helped you decipher where you stand. And why is doing this necessary? Because it helps you understand a little something more about people and about yourself, and how you should or should not react if something similar happens in the future.
That is what we always have, the lessons that we learn and the things that we can take from an incident. Once you have a plan in place and you realize that by doing such and such you will feel better and it will help you move on, then please do that―it could be something as simple as talking it out with a friend.
Once that is done, you will feel much, much better, and the disappointment that is threatening to bring you further down will wane.
With these factors on dealing with disappointment, you will now have an idea of what needs to be done and what course to follow. So the next time you're down about something, remember―there will always be things that cause disappointment, but what we take from them, is what is important.