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How to Gain Self-Esteem

Tilottama Chatterjee Jul 27, 2020
Having a positive self-esteem is very important for the happiness and development of any individual. Here, we provide some tips to regain it if it has been lost somewhere along the way.

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Teenage years are fraught with many things. Though formative, they play a great role in creating a perception of self-worth. These are the years during which you go through more changes than you can keep track of, grapple with more emotions than normal, and lay a foundation for the adult that you're about to become.
Many times, those who make a few misinformed choices in the exuberant buoyancy of youth pay the price in lowered self-confidence, image issues, and a sense of insecurity that takes a concerted and consistent effort to overcome.
Learning how to regain self-esteem is an invaluable life lesson, one that is more important than you may realize. It's only when you love yourself that you're able to live a happy life, well-equipped to handle the problems it may throw at you.

Helpful Tips

It may be hard for those who are confident to understand the problems that someone with low confidence faces. Low confidence doesn't build up overnight. It manifests itself slowly, through a series of events or people that put you down over and over, until there are cracks that flourish and put gaping holes into a hitherto strong armor.
Self belief and confidence go hand in hand, so when the belief crumbles, so does everything that depends on it. This makes way for the insecurity, the timidity, the uncertainty, and with it, self-esteem issues that underline the lack of self worth.
Gaining this self-esteem back becomes all the more important as you grow up. With age come complex relationships, professional relationships, and duties that a lack of confidence can seriously harm. Given here are some simple steps that can help you with this process.

Enlist Your Good Points

We all have flaws. However, we've all got strong points too. For many who lack spunk, these strengths bury themselves within, lost to the world and hidden from everyone, but nobody knows these better than yourself.
Strengths can be anything, like something you find easy that others don't, strength of character, or a natural talent to sing, draw, write, create, cook, look, love, or befriend. It can be your ability to be loyal, your tenacity, perseverance, diligence, or dexterity.
Figure it out because it exists. Isolate your strengths, write them down preferably in notes that you can put into every pocket of every article of clothing, or somewhere where you come into contact with them every now and then.
Most importantly, rejoice in them. It's you that's a marvelous friend, a fabulous cook, or a dab hand at sketching. It's you who's good at something. Take that from this confidence-building exercise and practice it daily. You'll find yourself gaining self-esteem slowly but surely.

Take a Stand

Many who suffer from self-esteem issues can trace the cause back to troubled relationships. If you're in a relationship that makes you feel anything other than good about yourself for any length of time, understand that this could be one of the root causes of the problem.
With lack of self-confidence comes anxiety and docility mixed with an unhealthy dose of fear. It's very often accompanied by a partner who feeds on the insecurity instead of negating it. When your significant other has only hurtful things to say, get out before you begin to believe it. If you believe it already, get out anyway.
It's hard, it's tough, and even tougher if you are in a dependent relationship. You even believe, like he/she tells you, that you'll never find anybody else. However, it's better to be single and content than in a relationship and miserable. An important step to boost self-esteem is to get out of relationships that drag you under and undermine your worth.

Become the Source

You must learn to become the source of your own happiness. When you depend not on others but yourself for happiness, you become infinitely stronger and less likely to falter. It may sound cold, it may sound lonely, but it's not - it's liberating.
You need to love yourself before you can love others, selfish though it may sound. Spend time with yourself, get to know what makes you happy and what makes you sad, untempered by external sources.
Listen to the music that speaks to your soul, watch the movies that make you laugh, read the books that stay with you after you've turned the last page. Figure yourself out. Gaining self-confidence and esteem in the process is just a bonus.
Learning how to regain self-esteem is one of the most empowering experiences that you can encounter. Trust yourself and remember to rely on your strengths. As you emerge from the chrysalis that is a bruised and battered sense of self, take to the sky with a belief that you are unique. Learn to love and you will learn to live.