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A Guide to Regaining Confidence

Puja Lalwani
If you need to give yourself time to get back into shape, or you need to get a little advice on regaining confidence and achieving success. If it is advice you are looking for, here's some that may help you.

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Confidence is a highly sensitive trait. As much time it takes to build confidence, that little time it takes to lose it. It can shatter very easily, unless you have more faith in yourself than you could imagine; a quality extremely rare. In a world that is so competitive, it is easy to feel lesser than those around us in all respects.
Everyone's achievements are an effort to prove their worth to others rather than keep themselves happy. Some of you may disagree with this, but for most, it is a fact that is rarely admitted. In such cases, losing confidence is very easy and common too.
However, we also know that there is no room for lack of confidence in this world. We try to portray a strong exterior, but somewhere the low confidence levels find their way out.
Whether it is the loss of a job, a break up, or a failure at school, the shattered confidence can be picked up and rebuilt, only if you are willing to do so. It is going to take time and a lot of efforts, before you begin to feel at your best again. Yes, regaining confidence is possible, and here's how.

How to Regain Confidence

Insecurities are likely to seem extreme when your confidence levels have plummeted. And confidence may be low when you start doubting yourself in tough situations.
These periods are perhaps the worst, where it is difficult to have faith in yourself, let alone the others around you. Now, you may find it a little difficult to accept that you are suffering from insecurities and low confidence levels. However, once you do, it will be easier to follow certain steps to regain your confidence.

Why Did You Lose Confidence in the First Place?

A small review of what went wrong can go a long way in helping you regain your lost confidence. What was it that has led to this situation? Was it a bit of overconfidence? Was it a job that was better done by someone else? Was it the fact that you were turned down for someone else in a relationship?
Or is it just a phase where you are facing a major transition in your life, and are losing trust in yourself? Whatever the case, whether it is regaining confidence after a divorce or a break up, or any other situation, you have to think things through, and eventually move on.
As clichéd as it sounds, it is a fact that you have to face. Perhaps defining a trail of events that are responsible for your current problem may help you move ahead.

Start Small

When everything seems like a problem, start by tackling the smaller ones. If it is a job you have lost, start by doing small things that make you feel more capable.
For instance, help someone repair their car, clear out their garage, cook something, or help them get organized. These are very tiny things, but you will gain self-confidence by starting with these small activities.

Spend Time with Yourself

Sometimes, all you need is to get away from everything that is bothering you, and head off to a place where you don't know anyone; a place from where you can come back feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.
If you don't have the resources to do this, at least ensure that you spend enough time with yourself, meditate, breathe deeply, or just exercise. Spending time with yourself does not mean moping around. Moping is fine for a while, but at some point you have to start moving on.

Engage in Resourceful Activities

You may not find yourself open to taking up a hobby, but this is the best time to start doing something and develop your confidence. If you engage in something you like doing, it is likely that you will do it better.
A dance class, a pottery class, or a class where you learn how to prepare various delicacies, will have you feel much better about yourself. Everyone else around you will also be able to sense the difference in your demeanor and your attitude.

Get in Shape

For some, looking good is what it takes to feel good. Let's face it. You know looking good naturally makes you feel more confident. So make yourself a project where you work out, eat right, and enhance your body along with your mind.

Spend Time with Confident People

All of us admire that someone who has utmost confidence in himself (or at least does a good job of projecting it). Spend time with such a person so that you can learn some valuable methods of feeling confident yourself.
At least until you are trying to get back to being the person you were, avoid spending time with people who themselves don't have any faith in their abilities, are depressed, or are going through a bad phase. This will not help, and is likely to pull you down further.

Give Yourself Time

Finally, time is the best healer; there is no denying that. Don't be impatient; maybe that is what led to your current state. As mentioned earlier, building confidence takes a long time.
You have to give yourself the time to breathe, think things through, make necessary changes, and then go back to being the great, confident person you were. The sooner you realize this, the quicker it will be for you to bring about a positive change.
Regaining confidence is like a path to self-discovery. If this is how you treat it, there is no way you can find yourself feeling low or incompetent. Remember, you are as good as anyone else.
As long as you are able to accept your shortcomings and enhance your capabilities, no one can make you feel terrible about yourself. Keep this in mind, and you are bound to emerge a confident human being.